Men too must take the blame for abortions

BY PATIENCE NYANGOVE Society should stop blaming women alone in cases of infanticide, baby dumping and abortion, social commentators have said. They said men too should take the blame as pregnancy is supposed to be a shared responsibility. The commentators said though men are also responsible for the pregnancies they are normally left scot free while women are labelled, punished and made social outcasts. Television personality Re-becca Chisamba, popularly known as Amai Chisamba, feels that it is unfair to blame women alone as it takes two to tango. She blames the African culture for letting men responsible for the pregnancies and babies go unpunished. However, she was quick to point out that women should not be short-sighted, thinking only about sexual pleasure, forgetting the consequences of unprotected sex. “A baby is not a curse, but a gift,” she said. “However it’s not a woman’s problem alone, men should take responsibility for their actions as well. They must take care of their children.” Amai Chisamba also blamed parents for pushing their daughters, impregnated out of wedlock, to the extremes. “I feel that as parents we are also to blame. We chase our children from home to go and elope and when they get there the men also chase them away. We make our daughters feel unwanted, unprotected and they end up dumping babies, killing the babies or having an abortion,” she said. ‘Men must take responsibility for their actions’ Eddington Mhonde, programmes coordinator for Padare/Enku-ndleni/ Men’s Forum On Gender said society should not be quick to blame women. “We should not be quick to blame women who sleep with older men yet men are the worst prostitutes, because they sleep with these young girls and impregnate them before dumping them,” said Mhonde. He added: “As society, we should be fair and also deal with men who deny responsibility for their actions. Although what these women are doing is wrong, society should understand the pressure of being disowned by family, and lack of solace and comfort these women go through alone.” “As society, we have failed to deal with the real culprits and we are now diverting our attention to the five men that were raped forgetting the countless women who have suffered the same fate at the hands of men.” Mhonde was referring to increased reports of men being raped by women. Executive director of Women Federation of Southern Africa, Edinah Masanga urged women not to abort their babies but instead explore other options like giving them up for adoption. “Women sometimes go through unbearable pain and end up resorting to things like infanticide. As society we must try and help women to get counselling and desist from shaming them,” said Masanga. Masanga blamed ge-nder imbalances between men and women where boys and men are preferred over women in terms of education and financial opportunities. This scenario results in more women who are poor and unable to look after their babies or themselves.